now and then

This was written for a competition where we were required to write vignettes in response to a current popular song based on a sonnet written. The song selected was "Born To Die" by Lana Del Ray

i.

through opaque crystal

I sift through dreams, what was

what now is

what seemed forever a mix

of dreams embraced,

free of inhibition

rests a life forgotten

put on hold,

bound with yesteryear’s spirit

that hummed sweet nectar

when hopes were at once eternal

now expunged

ii.

I trek down many paths

particularly ones emblazoned

with your curse

I tried to reform

taste the feral journey,

though it screams so

in all appearances

boys like me don’t hatch

from the typical nest-egg

we trade souls

hiss secrets to be liked, craved

so that in the night air’s bustle,

you desire more

only the high of you

gets me off

satiates heroin hearts

does not hesitate

to transform and become

what you spell out

in amour’s curse

I sing hoarsely

“it’s not the end,

but I perish in Autumn’s amber”

iii.

the outcome is always the same

I always dreamed it would be me

that Heaven would embrace those

that fought through trenches

living out the now in future’s folly

but you can never return

to an innocent past

where hard work, determination

paid dues for those who rasterized

internal worlds now guilty

in slackened acceptance

your body listless

at the foot of the bed

a slash of crimson

where there ought to be a bow