Monday, August 10, 2015


I thought I saw God
while driving through Omaha, Nebraska
prisms of light shining,
but it was just a halo
in my rear view mirror,
the sun gleaming through droplets of rain
after a fierce thunderstorm.

I sought God many times
especially when I lay down to sleep
praying different ways
like a sycophant’s attempt
to gain access through pearly gates,
winking at Saint Peter
and handing over cash.
Instead of answers
I would wake up the next morning
with a slight hangover
from too much red wine,
blood that dripped
from my hands and feet.

Now, I seek God
in the aroma of jasmine
in a kind old woman’s face
or in the liquid eyes
of a cocker spaniel.
As I slipped into yellow moods
reflected off glassy ponds,
I found disappointment
from lies I was told
when I was a wee boy.

A nun once declared
I was going to Hell
because I would not participate
in Communion.
The bread, the body of Christ
was a tablet
that tasted like paste
if you chewed it.

And a minister remarked
that if I dare enter another church,
the cathedral would topple
and I would perish in the rubble.
It was this same man
whose hand got slapped
by Mother
when he fondled her behind.

So when I see brothers, sisters
felled mercilessly in their prime,
I simply ask why.
What lesson may I learn?
That life is fleeting?
To take advantage of the joyous journey?
I know these things.
Perhaps experiences are random
and luck plays a significant role
like losing that winning lottery ticket.
We manage to survive
trauma, technology terrorists,
even God herself
assuming she exists.

I jump on the carousel
spin round and round and round
afraid to jump off
for fear of landing in some inferno,
flames that reach the sky
burning me like a marshmallow
over a blaze that is too hot,
taking all of me
and my history with it
with questions that remain unaswered,
contemplation for survivors
in this mad, mad world.


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it.

  2. I love it, really deep and thoughtful. Some of this mirrors what I've thought as well. Beautiful poem. <3

  3. Thanks Elaine. You stole my heart on MySpace, and here we are years later still friends.

  4. Wow...felt every word of this Michael ❤️

  5. A www, you are WAY too kind! I appreciate it.