Much of what is written here is poetry, but there are prose pieces interspersed, all written by Michael Wayne Holland. Also, there are blog entries from further back about living with post traumatic stress disorder. Full range of topics are fleshed, much based on life experiences, and much observed and imagined. I believe there is an internal truth to the writings, fiction or non-fiction.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Glue
Glue
The three of us make quite a pair,
me, the third wheel and the glue
that solidifies this treacherous partnership.
I look at Chase, catch his eye, share
a private moment,all the while Lloyd stares
at me, as if I am a Thanksgiving turkey.
He wants to carve my wings, stuff me,
only I keep him at arm’s length,
his sharp fangs unable to puncture my neck,
suck my blood: that little parasite.
Lloyd and Chase live together in a state
of confusion and betrayal, unable to free
themselves of their death grip.
I come along. I am the glue.
I hold everything together
with delicate balancing,
gracefully managing the balance beam
with a double round off, and a perfect dismount.
It’s a secret Chase and I share;
he’s loyal and kind, aware of Lloyd’s deceits
and insecurities, endangering trust
by taking, taking, always taking,
forging new bonds, he thinks, with someone
like me, or Tim, or Paul, or Kevin, or Whomever.
Alliances are tricky, but I am the glue.
I keep Lloyd at a safe, not quite respectful
distance, for respect is a two way street,
and he is unaware how cheap and disposable
he makes me feel, like a newspaper barely read,
facts unremembered, thrown into the trash.
I do not internalize this. I clearly state
what I think of him outright, teasingly,
loathing and enjoying him simultaneously
because I am the glue. He’s stuck
to me, and still I push his paws away.
I pledge allegiance to Chase, with forbidden kisses,
later feeling ashamed, with only slight regret.
Sometimes, I cannot even meet his eyes,
fearing disloyalty I have already committed,
carelessly hurt. See, he cares about mysterious,
subconscious feelings: metaphysical, alluring.
Yet, it’s Lloyd and Chase bonded
in their seething hostility and love,
neither one trusting the other,
both loyal to me, undeservedly.
I am the glue.
I know the full story,
keeping their not so secret desires
and platitudes within
under lock and key.
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