I'll Never Forget

The dissension prompted an unraveling,
        galvanizing a flood of perilous emotions
        to dissemble the forces that protect the nucleus:
                 stigma, embarrassment, humiliation, fury.
        Memories submerged in folds of skin awakened,
                 while nightmares wreaked havoc,
                         burying my pearly essence
                                 in a lacquered pine box.


My ego fractured into scattered shards
        like remnants of sand dollars
        abandoned on a lonesome beach,
                 where the tide strips sand
                 from the barren shore.
        Dormant reflections morphed
                 into a torrid hornet’s nest,
                 festering inside my butchered brain,
                         as feelings fragmented into aberrations,
                         causing the balance of power to shift
                 within my beleaguered landscape.


Tears avalanched, scalding my rosy cheeks,
        as I tasted pungent salt in my mouth.
        Fleeting flashbacks flooded with increasing intensity,
                as my sorrow evolved into a collosal crying jag,
                the shattering betrayal escalating,
                               shifting the blame,
                       resulting in bewildered guilt.


Recollections of his callous touch emerged in my mind,
        how he caressed, then dominated my unblemished torso,
        how he forced me to perform stupefying acts,
                admonishing me for my wicked weakness,
                bullying me into vociferously declaring,
         how much I desired him, savored him, coveted him,
         how I seduced him into devouring my pristine soul,
                         as I lay facing a grotesque, smudged wall
                         that displayed a poster of Mary, Mother of God,
                                 embracing her baby, Jesus Christ.


Malicious thoughts surged and seethed into consciousness;
        the squalid sheets scarred, while the rancid odor aggravated,
        causing me to wretch on to the soiled blanket,
                compelling his depravity to ravish my frail carcass
                        yet again, and again, tainting my faith.
                I have become a slaughtered pig roasting
                on a revolving spit in the blistering heat.


I shut my eyes, the oppressive sun searing
        through dusty slats, as I shut down,
        the palpitations subsiding momentarily  -
                slightly, like a truculent heartbeat trembling  –
        so that I can breathe and decipher
                the genesis of this wicked visitation,
                but I am unable to determine the source
                        that bludgeoned my senses
                        into sleek submission,
                like a concert pianist reluctantly performing
                Debussy's Arabesque  at the bidding
                                of a merciless madman.


How can this barbaric uprising emanate
        from repressed sentiments that once protected?
        How can I walk stealthily amongst the masses
                without the risk of shame annihilating my composure?
         And will I ever imbibe some gracious potion
                 that grants serenity from the bruising events
                 that have permanently defaced my past,
                         altered my present, and taunted my future?


No, I’ll never forget. I’ll never forget. Ever.    
         My sanctuary has been desecrated,
         the grotesque sins of the boogeyman
                forever looming in conciliatory dreams,
                gnawing at flavorless flesh.                               
                                 I’ll never forget.